Untamed
by Hitomi Uraya
Summary: Oneshot. Sad and depressing. Slight yaoi. Character deaths. M for language, slight rape, and suicide. This is not the sequel to 'Burn! Based off the song 'Untamed' by Trace Adkins. Someone's writing a suicide not with memories he regrets.


I wasn't in a good mood when I wrote this so… I'm sorry if it makes you depressed and sad. Please note the types of writings here because I will be slipping in and out of different types of POVs and other things. _**This is a song here. **This is first person point of view._ **This is now.** And this will be memories here. Understand? I hope you do and I hope I don't lose you at any point in this oneshot. Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own InuYasha or the characters related to this oneshot. They all belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

_**Warning! Slight rape, some language, and a suicide (meaning a death of a character).**_

**_Untamed_**

By: Kurai Noto

_**Regrets of Being Untamed**_

_You always thought I hated you… that I loathed you… that I wanted you dead…but that isn't true. None of that is true. To tell you the truth, I actually love you. You're always on my mind. Every minute of every day. I can't seem to stop thinking about you. Your beautiful amber eyes; silky silver hair blowing by in the breeze. Sadly… your hair doesn't float on the breeze anymore. Your eyes aren't lively anymore like they used to be… They seem to always be closed now. I can't see anything of you anymore._

_When they laid your body to rest underneath the ground, I cried. I cried like a newborn pup for you. I just I wish I could tell you how I felt and how I still feel. I saw your body… not when it was in the casket… but when they first found you… What would make someone want to do that to you?_

_Your eyes were fixed open in terror with a look of fright on your face. A leather rope was tied around your neck and you were nude to embarrass you. You were hung from a great height above that river you used to go fishing in. I still wonder who would be that cold-hearted to do that to you… I remember when we were little. I would come over to play games with your older brother sometimes including you. We would torment you most of the time, but when I'd get home, I would break down and cry. I never wanted to make fun of you…_

"Inuyasha…" a woman warned. A small inu hanyou struggled against his mother's hold to run to his brother. "Sesshomaru doesn't want to play with you…"

"He can come play with us, Mother," a teenage inu youkai stated calmly. The woman gave him a questioning look. "He'll be fine," he reassured her. The woman released her son, who ran to his older brother. The woman left leaving the three boys to themselves. "Stupid mutt…" Sesshomaru muttered as he walked off to the backyard. "Come on, Koga. Let's hang out." The ookami glanced back at the hanyou before following his friend.

"How stupid do you think the hanyou is?" Koga asked.

"Immeasurable stupidity." The two teenage youkai laughed. Koga glanced back at the hanyou with sad eyes. The hanyou was crying…

"Cheer up, mutt. We want to see your face when we insult you!" The hanyou's ears drooped downward more. The ookami decided to ignore that fluttering feeling he felt in his stomach for the hanyou he adored dearly. He couldn't describe the feeling he always felt around the hanyou. He wanted to make sweet love to the boy instead of being with Sesshomaru and talking. Koga lagged behind making the inu youkai stop and turn around. He stuck his foot out; the small inu hanyou didn't see the foot and tripped over it. The inu youkai hollered with laughter at the pained hanyou; the ookami kneeled helping Inuyasha to his feet. "I'll go take care of him."

"Why?"

"So your mom doesn't get suspicious…"

"She isn't _my_ mom. She's _his_ mother," Sesshomaru corrected.

"Whatever. I'm just going to go clean him up. Be there in a while." Koga walked as slow as he could to help Inuyasha to the bathroom. "I'm sorry, Inuyasha. I like you… I really do, but if I don't do the tings I do, Sesshomaru's going to think that I'm going soft on you."

"Why won't you just be nice to me?"

"Like I said. Sesshomaru's going to think I'm going soft on you." Inuyasha held onto Koga to steady himself as he limped. "Which leg?"

"My right one."

"Okay. We're almost there." Once they were in the bathroom, Koga set the small inu hanyou on the counter and shut the door. The ookami kneeled in front of the hanyou slowly lifting his pant leg to reveal his right leg. Koga gently touched the bloody knee with his fingertips. Inuyasha winced and whimpered in pain. "It's okay, Inuyasha. It's not that bad."

"It hurts, Koga-kun…" The ookami shivered slightly as he reached into a drawer. His hand came out with a washcloth and a small bar of soap. He ran warm water in the sink soaking the cloth with it, but wrung it out some. He lathered the soap into the cloth. Glancing into Inuyasha's pained amber eyes, Koga began to gently clean the hanyou's knee. Tears fell from the hanyou's eyes from the pain. Koga licked the tears away to soothe the boy.

"You're alright, Inuyasha. Don't worry. You'll be just fine," he reassured the pained boy. He held the hanyou's hand. He felt the boy squeeze to let out the pain he felt. "That's it… You're doing just fine." He finished cleaning the wound and bandaged it up. "There… All done."

Inuyasha opened his eyes looking into Koga's baby blue eyes. "Thank you, Koga-kun," he whispered and wrapped his arms around the ookami's neck. "There's at least one person out in the world that cares about me… and that's you…" Koga smiled as he embarrassed the small inu back.

_Do you remember that? That was when you were only ten. I was thirteen at that time. Sesshomaru was fourteen then. After that moment in time, I would harm you and then clean you up if blood came from your body. I only harmed you to keep my reputation. I'm sorry so much… Do you remember that time when you turned fifteen? I'm sorry about that… I just couldn't take it any longer. I wanted you… I wanted you so badly that I couldn't resist the urge._

_I never meant to do that… It wasn't my fault._

Koga sat in Red Robin(1) sulking as he stared at his hands. He was waiting for the waiter or waitress to come and take his order. He never expected Naraku to be his waiter. Koga dismissed it and ordered what he wanted. Naraku noticed that the ookami, who was normally cheerful, was sad and gloomy.

"What's wrong, Koga? Did Kagome turn you down again?" The ookami shook his head. "She agreed to go out with you?" Another shake of the head. "Sesshomaru ignoring you?" Another shake. "Then what's wrong with you, Koga?"

"It's Inuyasha's fifteenth birthday tomorrow and I don't have a present for him."

"Is that all? I thought it was something else!" Naraku laughed as he walked off to place Koga's order to the chef.

"No…" Koga sighed softly as he watched Naraku walk off to place his order. "That isn't all… I love him and don't know how to show it through a present…" He sighed again letting his head fall to the table.

"Why not show the person how you feel, man?" a deep voice asked him. The ookami looked up.

"I don't want to scare him… I just want to show him that I love him through a present, but I don't know how." The man he saw was good looking. The man had short brown hair and bright blue eyes. A great facial structure and a great body.

"Chocolates, flowers, poetry… There are many possibilities, Koga…"

"_Women_ are the ones who like chocolates, flowers, and poetry. Not men. Who are you anyway?"

"Coop. Well… what does he like?"

"I don't know… I don't pay that much attention to what he likes…"

"Be your normal self with him. Let it come naturally." The man stood up leaving. Koga shook his head at the man as his food came. He ate quickly and laid the money on the table. He climbed into his car taking off out of that parking lot. He sped home.

_Okay… That was a little too early. Let's fast forward to your fifteenth birthday party…_

The doorbell rang signaling that someone was at the door waiting to be let in. Sesshomaru was the one to answer the door to be greeted by a stranger. The stranger wore tight-fitting jeans and a small shirt that revealed his well-toned stomach. The stranger had baby blue eyes and long dark brown hair up in a ponytail. That's when it hit him… The stranger was Koga!

"Koga?" The 'stranger' nodded. "Holy shit… What did you do?"

"I… thought to dress up for… Inuyasha's birthday."

"Okay… Come on in." Sesshomaru stepped to the side to allow Koga to come in. Right when he came in, Inuyasha tackled him. Sesshomaru raised an eyebrow, but left to leave the two alone. He had figured out Koga liked Inuyasha when they were sixteen and accepted the fact that his friend was gay with his younger brother… but that didn't mean he couldn't still pick on his brother. As long as the ookami didn't break the hanyou's heart or hurt him too badly, he was all right with his friend dating his brother. Sesshomaru had already told Koga that he knew and the rules to everything.

"I can't believe it! You actually came, Koga-kun!" Inuyasha squealed.

"I would never miss one of your birthdays… You know I wouldn't. Would you get off of me?"

"Oh… um… sorry…" he whispered blushing as he got off of Koga. "I…" The ookami silenced him with his fingers and kissed his cheek. The hanyou glanced his brother's friend up and down. "You didn't bring a present for me," he whined.

"Actually… I did."

"Where is it?" Koga wagged his finger at him. "That's no fair! Give me clue!"

"Not until the clock strikes four. That's when I'll give it to you. Okay?" Inuyasha's head hung slightly, but Koga lifted it up to look into his eyes. "Okay?" The hanyou slowly nodded.

Time passed slowly and the birthday boy continued to wonder what his present was from Koga. The ookami was so unpredictable at times… and this was one of those times he didn't know what to expect from the ookami. Finally, the clock chimed four times to announce the time of day. Inuyasha stood in front of Koga waiting for that clue.

"What's that clue?"

"The present's name starts with a 'K'."

"Kiss?" Koga shook his head. "A necklace from Kay?" Another shake of his head. "I don't know! Just tell me!" Inuyasha whined.

"I'm going to blindfold you and lead you to your present. Alright?" The hanyou sighed as the ookami blindfolded him. "Trust me with this…" he whispered into the boy's ear. Koga led the silver-haired hanyou into the house, up the stairs, and into a bedroom with black and red silk sheets on the bed. He closed the door behind them. "When I say to take the blindfold off, do so." Koga moved away from the boy to sit on the bed. "Go ahead and take the blindfold off." Inuyasha did as he was told. Glancing around the room, he gawked in awe.

"Is this… all for me?"

"Of course. Your present from me is for you to do as you please with me."

"I… I can't do that… I don't want to take advantage of you…"

"You won't be. I'm your present." Koga stood stalking towards the boy slowly. "You can do as you want with me. Just for tonight… That's why I dressed up like this…" Inuyasha backed up against the door; the ookami trapped him against it with his arms on either side of the hanyou. "This is all for you… What do you want me to do?" the youkai whispered seductively.

"I… don't know… I've…"

"Never done this before. I know. Neither have I. Let's experiment. Think of this as… gathering information."

"But… my mind doesn't work that way."

"I see… You like to be the dominated. Not the dominant. I can work that way…" Koa kissed along Inuyasha's neck down to the shirt. He began to unbutton the shirt when Inuyasha's hand caught his. "Don't worry… I won't hurt you…"

"It isn't that… It's… me. I'm not ready for this," the hanyou whispered trying to get free. The youkai felt hurt. He had thought Inuyasha was ready, but now that he heard it from his friend's brother's lips, he knew the boy wasn't ready to take that final step.

Koga stared into the amber eyes of the boy in front of him. He saw love, hate, betrayal, and… fear… in those golden orbs. What was the fear for, he wondered. He didn't know, but he was going to find out very soon. "Inuyasha… is that fear I see in your eyes?" He leaned forward about to kiss him. He never made contact to the hanyou's lips. "Tell me what you fear…" The amber eyes he watched widened slightly.

"Well… I fear death…"

"Everyone fears death. What else do you fear?"

"I fear… you…"

"You don't need to fear me. I'll never hurt you…" Koga closed his eyes as he felt something in his groin. He knew this feeling… and he didn't like it. This feeling… It was heat. He had to get away from the hanyou. He had to lock himself up somewhere far away from the hanyou, but it was too late. The animal inside of him was out and ready to ride something. Koga latched his mouth onto the hanyou's neck shredding their clothes as he nipped, sucked, and teased the flesh. "I need you, Inuyasha… I can't keep myself tamed…'

_**I like to be a little wild**_

_**I like to raise a little Cain**_

_**I wanna keep it on the edge**_

_**Let my restless heart remain**_

_**Untamed**_

_**I'm gonna live the way I love**_

_**And love the way I live**_

_**Walk the highest**_

_**Away from any fences**_

_**Free of any chains**_

_**Unbound**_

_**Untied**_

_**Untamed**_

_**I only want what I've got coming**_

_**I'll take the credit and the blame**_

_**Even when I'm bent and broken**_

_**I pray my spirit always stays**_

_**Untamed**_

_**I'm gonna live the way I love**_

_**And love the way I live**_

_**Walk the highest wire**_

_**And stay out on a limb**_

_**Away from any fences**_

_**Free of any chains**_

_**Unbound**_

_**Untied**_

_**Untamed**_

_**I take no map**_

_**I make no plans**_

_**I've let go of the reins**_

_**I have no rules**_

_**I feel no fear**_

_**No restraints**_

_**Untamed**_

_**Away from any fences**_

_**Free of any chains**_

_**Unbound**_

_**Untied**_

_**Untamed**_

_**Untamed**_

_**Untamed**_

_**Untamed**_

_**Untamed**_

_**Untamed**_

"Koga-kun," Inuyasha gasped as the ookami pressed their hips together. The youkai never registered what the hanyou said, pleaded, or whispered in an attempt to stop the youkai. All was in vain because Koga was long gone now… replaced by a savage beast, which had laid dormant over all these years. Inuyasha panicked; he didn't know what to do. The ookami led him towards the bed. His pleas drifted to deaf ears as he was lowered to the bed.

"Be mine, Inuyasha," Koga whispered as he trailed down the boy's body. He heard a yelp of surprise as he engulfed the hanyou's arousal into his mouth.

_I'm sorry for interrupting this, but everything else is a blur after that. All I remember is the pain you felt. I only know this because you wouldn't look me in the eye after that. You would barely even talk to me. I regret all the pain and suffering I put you through. I'm sorry._

_I would also like to say that I'm sorry to my family and yours. I was a burden to mine and a screw up with yours. I hope everyone forgives me for everything I've done. Sesshomaru especially. I'm sorry._

_If someone has found this, then you know that I have committed suicide to try and relieve myself of the guilt. The only thing I request of the person who is reading this… is to lay my body to rest next to my dear Inuyasha's. That is all I request. Thank you._

_And remember, Inuyasha… I'll always love you.

* * *

_

**Koga left his computer table and retrieved everything he needed to hang himself. When he was ready… he let himself swing and choke to his death for his love… Inuyasha.**

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Whoa… Seven pages! Seven pages in Word and seven pages in my notebook front and back! That's amazing… I'm sorry if this mad you depressed. I was depressed when I wrote this so please forgive me. Hope you all enjoyed reading this! Here's a shout out to my buddy, YaoiWriter2500! An awesome yaoi writer! You all should check out his stories sometime and review him. He's awesome, man! Anyway… enough of my rambling so you can review or read someone else's story and not review mine… I don't care… Just something I did in my spare time… which I have a lot of… lol. See you all some other time! Bye!

(1) This is my favorite burger joint! It's awesome! I love it so much!


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